Review: Horse Hero

Heroic horse in his everyday horse disguise

What’s being tested?

A normal horse who answered the call of justice.

What we found

Pros: Entirely selfless; wields incredible power in all hooves. Walks among us without fear of recognition, as he is a master of horse disguises. Very much his own horse. Has a strong sense of justice and fair play. Pays a respectable amount of tax, despite being a horse. Immune to vice.

Cons: You can never tell when he’ll appear, though you can always rely on him; often struggles with the burden that his heroism places upon him. A weakness for sugar cubes; has made many enemies; female horses will find it difficult not to get emotionally involved. Easily spooked by television sets and rolled up newspapers.

Verdict

When our testers hear the wind blow, they swear that they can hear the confident whinny of this heroic horse, not to mention the peaceful slumber of all of the appreciative citizens he’s helped through these troubled times. Canter on, horse.

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