Review: Not Getting the Job in the Christmas Shop in the Middle of May

Note: Rejection may be experienced in applying for other holiday-themed stores

What’s being tested?

An unsuccessful response to a ‘situations vacant’ notice in a yuletide specific high-street outlet at the end of spring/beginning of summer.

What we found

Pros:

Being unsuccessful in applying for any position in the Christmas shop was found to have many advantages, chief among these being that Christmas, for the rejected individual, will continue to begin in early September, instead of being terrifyingly omnipotent in the rejected’s calendar. The holiday will also still quietly disappear after New Year, as opposed to still very much having a presence in the individual’s life after the festival season’s natural end. Not having Christmas waiting for you after recovering and returning from Christmas was found to be a very positive thing, on balance.

The rejected individual will also find that they will not become very acquainted with and subsequently very bored by the technical organisers of the holiday – i.e. the bauble manufacturers, the elven cosplayers, the animatronic Santa engineers, etc – preserving for them, to a degree, the magic and mystery of Christmas.

Some of our testers even went as far as to suggest that being rejected by a Christmas themed shop at the height of spring was a relatively difficult thing to achieve, and may point to the rejectee possessing very specific qualities not found in the larger populace.

Finally, we found that not being asked to explain what it’s like to work in the Christmas shop in the middle of May by anyone only just familiar with the situation was a profound positive.

Cons:

We found that, if the applicant is of the inclination to spend a significant proportion of their working life in an outlet themed around a limited and arguably superfluous holiday, then rejection from that outlet may prove to be too much for that individual’s fledgling self esteem and fragile sense of priorities. Similarly, the possible existence of an individual or individuals who have been found to be fundamentally ‘better at Christmas’ than the unsuccessful applicant may cause additional strain.

Verdict

We found that, on balance, being rejected by the Christmas shop for a position of employment was a positive thing, providing that other employment was eventually sourced elsewhere. Avoiding being submerged in the already familiar Christmas aesthetic for an entire year (or even how long the employment lasts) was thought by most to constitute a ‘lucky escape’, and not blurring the lines between an ‘interesting and unique occupation’ and ‘doing something unusual for money’ was also deemed advantageous. While working in the Christmas shop was still universally accepted as being far superior to working in the Halloween shop or the Funeral shop, we would still wholeheartedly recommend failing in the application nonetheless.

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